Finally home!

Well we have been discharged from the hospital. I am so happy to be home. As soon as we got home I passed out. I was so tired, and apparently Finn was too! He fell asleep on his own, in his crib. Something that has never happened before! Ethan and I were amazed. I am hoping this trend continues. I have found that Finn has become a little bit more independent since we have started the ACTH. As we speak he is laying on the floor talking to his toys...by himself. Also, the carseat has been a real issue for us. Finn usually cries bloody murder when he is in the car seat. Everyone used to tell me 'he will settle down eventually' but he never does. Every time I would drive home to see my parents, which is a 2 hour drive, he would cry the whole way. At first I would pull over and check him to make sure he wasn't wet or hungry but that was never the case. He just didn't like being in the car seat. When we drove home from the hospital yesterday, however, he sat in his carseat and did not make a peep. Just stared out the window and was a good boy. I am hoping and praying this is all related to the drugs. That he finally feels better and can gain a sense of independence.

Well I have filled everyone in about Finn's brain injury and the hurdles we are jumping through with that, but unfortunately Finn has other issues. Let me start at the beginning. Finn was born 9lbs. Definitely not a tiny baby. After he was born he did not eat for 8 hours. It didn't matter if it was breast or bottle. He just did not seem interested in eating. When we left the hospital he ended up weighing 8.6lbs. The doctors told us that he wanted to see Finn in a few days to do a weight check. When we went in again Finn weighed 8lbs. I could only get him to eat maybe an ounce at a time. After he finished an ounce he would be screaming, and it would take me about an hour to get him to settle down. I called the doctors office almost daily telling them my baby won't eat. Their only suggestion was 'maybe he has reflux, keep him up right and it should be ok'. I planned on breast feeding Finn, but he would never stay latched onto my nipple. I was so paranoid about him not eating enough that I switched to pumping. I thought he did better on the bottle, but still would only eat 1oz at a time. Finn was put on Xanax when he was about a month old. When that did not make a difference in his appetite they switched us to prevacid. When that still didn't work they wanted me to switch to a soy formula and keep him on the prevacid. Finn started eating about 2-3oz at a time then. He no longer was losing weight, but feeding time was definitely not the calm experience for either of us. At one of Finn's weight check appt I asked the doctor if we needed to see a GI specialist. He kind of brushed me off and said that since Finn was gaining weight (only a few ounces at a time) that he was doing ok. It wasn't until his 3 month check up that I demanded we see a GI specialist. Although I am a first time mom, I knew it was not right that the only time my baby cried was during a feeding! So we go referred to a GI specialist. They ordered an upper GI to be done on Finn and suggested that we switch to a special hypoallergenic formula called Elecare. It was a miracle. After the first bottle I already knew we solved the problem. Finn was allergic to milk and soy products. The upper GI came back negative so we knew that Finn would have to stay on Elecare. The only problem is that Elecare is very expensive, can only be ordered online, and is NOT covered by our insurance. But this was just something we had to do for Finn. Ever since then Finn has been thriving on Elecare. He is now over 16lbs. I sometimes beat myself up that it took me 3 months to demand something else be done about the feeding issue. For 3 months Finn was in pain every time he ate. But again, he is strong.


Next there is the eye issues. I have already mentioned that Finn's right eye was damaged during delivery. Although that was heart breaking to hear that he only had 50% vision in that eye, I told myself at least he has his left eye. Well when we learned of the stroke our eye doctor had some more news for us. Since the stroke was so severe it caused damage to his left eye. He ordered a special test to be done on Finn to determine just how much vision he had in both eyes. The results showed that he only has about 50% vision in the left eye and 50% in the right. He told us in reality his right eye had better vision than his left. Again I was crushed. If he would have never been injured during birth he would have had perfect vision in his right eye. The doctor said that Finn would need to get glasses and contacts so he has the best chance of strengthening his eyes. So every day I put contacts in my little baby's eyes. Something that was totally foreign to me since I have never had contacts before. This was another hit on our wallets. Special made baby contacts are not cheap and again not covered by our insurance. But again, it was something that had to be done to give Finn's eyes the best chance. I also have to patch his eyes a couple of hours a day to help strengthen his right eye. Just another thing that I feel guilty about. I should have been more forceful when I told the doctor NO when he wanted to use the forceps. But there is nothing I can do about it now.